As Seen on Craigslist – 1976 Chevy Nova

For a while in the mid-80s through early-90s, it seemed like you couldn’t throw a rock without hitting a Disco-era Nova.  They, along with similar vintage Dodge Darts and Ford Mavericks, were the go-to first car/cheap beater for a generation of people.  While the Nova was generally unchanged for over a decade, the earlier 68-72 cars are better-looking (and lack the stink of malaise that permeates the later cars), and their values have reached the relative stratosphere for the hot rodder on a budget.  Those later cars, while rarer now than ever, can still be found for a song and take the same hop-up parts and fat tires as their earlier cousins, but will never be as cool – especially in four-door form.  So I understand the impulse of this very enthusiastic seller to paint the car orange and slap a (hopefully ironic) stars-and-bars on the roof – anything to make this turd of a car feel cool.  If you wanted to go for broke, you’d weld all four doors shut and try to wedge yourself in through the front window.  The dusting of snow on the hood would certainly help the slide across, but I’m certainly not limber enough to get through that little window in one piece.  The solution is obvious, friends: sawzall that center post right out of the car!  Voila – ample room to pop your caboose in the car, awing everyone in sight (especially anyone in cutoff shorts) as the fire-breathing emissions-choked 305 stumbles to life.  There a few greater pleasures in life, I’m sure.