This week’s Craigslist find comes courtesy of a coworker, who was actually looking for a moped or scooter (which is an entirely different story) when he stumbled across this beauty. Unsafe at any speed, you say? That’s the worst of your worries when the “engine runs but won’t draw fuel.” In other words, as long as you can backyard-engineer a gravity-feed gas tank on the spot, I’m sure you’ll have no problem driving it home on the new brakes and tires – which aren’t pictured, because why would you bother to take current pictures of a car you’re trying to sell?
Besides the typical “vaseline on the lens” Craigslist photos, the ad also highlights the precision-cut 2x4s that are apparently keeping the car from rolling away – wait, I thought this heap had new brakes? I’m also unsure how “some rust holes” and “mostly surface (rust)” don’t immediately contradict each other. But truth be told, if it’s mostly solid, and the brake job is up to snuff, it sounds like a new fuel pump would probably solve the “won’t draw fuel” issue and you’d have a neat little runner for a negotiated $1500 (or less if you happen to have a moped you’re willing to trade). Of course, that’s assuming you could actually title the thing, because those don’t look like any Ohio plates I’ve ever seen – which means it hasn’t been licensed in God-knows-how-long. And even if you manage to get it past the DMV, you’ll still have to deal with the under-designed rear suspension that was the basis for Ralph Nader’s aforementioned screed, just for the right to drive a pea-soup-green, ill-proportioned deathtrap. But it would still be pretty fun.