At the risk of turning this into my wife’s blog, I thought I’d share another email she recently sent to a mutual friend. If you’ve ever read the If You Give A Mouse A Cookie books, you’ll know what she’s talking about:
If You Give Your Husband An Old Car
If you give your husband an old car he will want some parts to go with it.
First he will get some door hinges. Six months later he will finally pay someone to install them correctly after many failed attempts.
With new hinges he will want a transmission to go with it. But that will just sit in the garage.
That will remind him of the old-man-gold carpet sitting in the basement.
But when he rips up the old carpet he finds out the floorboards need replaced.
Once he replaces the floorboards he can install the carpet.
Once the carpet is installed he will want to drive it.
When he drives it the brakes will fail… and so he has to order more parts – new brakes and brake lines.
While the brakes are being shipped to your house he will tell you about a car he found on Craigslist… “the steal of the century.”
He says that buying it would be “like making money.”
In the meantime the brakes are delivered during nap time, causing the dog to freak out and the baby girls to cry!
Since he has the brakes, he will go ahead and install them so he can sell his car.
Once he sells his car he will want an old car.
And if you give a husband an old car, he will want some new parts to go with it.
The car that was “the steal of the century,” interestingly enough, was actually a steal – a Craigslist scam. I contacted the seller of a mint looking 1970 Chevelle that was listed for a very low price. I eventually received an email stating that the seller had moved to Maine to find a job, but I was welcome to come look at the car (red flag #1 – why would a Maine seller advertise on the Ohio Craigslist?). They assured me that the car came with all the appropriate paperwork and I would have no problem getting the car titled in any state. Better yet, the seller had won a free shipping coupon from a company called Dependable Auto Shippers in a raffle, so the transportation fees would be covered (red flag #2 – that just sounds fishy). A quick internet search turned up this. Apparently the scam artist copies an older Craigslist ad, puts up a low price, and waits for some sucker to wire them money up front. In my case, the ad was pulled the same day I got the email, so either the scammer got spooked or some poor fool lost a few thousand dollars.
So while I can’t dispute that I failed miserably at replacing the door hinges on my car or that a simple carpet replacement turned into major floorpan surgery, at least I’m not a total idiot.